Sunday we had an amazing lesson with Marisol and her husband and daughter. They have been having some major issues, but we brought along Bishop Botta and his wife. As we all talked together, they expressed their very valid concerns about economic situations, etc. As 22 and 23 year-olds, we don't have too much experience raising a family, dealing with debts, etc. The Bottas bore powerful testimony about how the gospel provides the solutions and the means to live happily, even amidst trials and difficulties. We talked about Moroni and the Title of Liberty, and how we must choose to stand up and protect and fight for what we believe in...most of all for our families. It went a bit long, almost two hours, but at the end we invited them to start from the very beginning and pray as a family. Marisol looked me in the eye as we were leaving with a look that is difficult to describe and said, ''Thank you. And thank you for bringing them.'' We called her yesterday and asked if they had been able to pray and she said, ''Yes. Thank you for sunday, it has already made a world of difference.'' And this coming from someone who wasn't very interested at the beginning, and now tries everything to arrange her busy schedule to see us. Thank heavens for the Bottas and their willingness to dedicate themselves, leaving their family of 7 to do so many things for the church!
Friday we had specialized training in Milano. It was probably one of the very best we've ever been to. At the end, we watched a talk by Elder Holland that he had given at the MTC. He is the man. He talked about Peter, and with Christ's death he knew he was somehow supposed to be in charge, but had no idea what to do. In desperation, he turned to the only thing he was comfortable with, the only thing he knew how to do. Speaking with his disciples, he may have said something like, ''Well, it's been great. We've seen a lot of miracles, and learned a lot of things. It was a wonderful three years. Who wants to go fishing?'' And so they fished a long, dark night, not catching anything. And as the morning light breaks, they see a figure on the shore, who asks them how it's gone. Not too good. He suggests that they cast the net on the right side. I'm sure many complained, ''Well, who does this man think he is? We've fished all night, casting it on the right side isn't going to do anything.'' But they do it anyway, and catch so much that they start to sink.
Recognizing that it is the Savior, Peter throws himself in the water and starts for shore. There, the Savior, in His infinitely love, has prepared breakfast for all of them. He asks Peter if he loves him. He then asks him again. The third time, Peter, who is very sensitive to the number three, is grieved that He is asking yet again. The Lord, powerfully but directly, reminds him that he has a calling and a mission to accomplish. ''Feed my sheep.'' It is time to leave the nets, the boats, and the oars for the second and final time. Peter has made his choice. There is no going back. He cannot return to the life he knew before, but must become the disciple the Lord needs him to be. There is no grey, only black or white. He either loves the Savior or he does not. And he will either follow the Savior or he will not. And in that moment Peter became the great disciple, where people would drag their cots out into the streets so that even his shadow would fall upon them.
At the end of these two years or 18 months, a returned missionary may say ''Well, it's been a good 2 years or 18 months. I've learned a lot. Seen a bunch of miracles. I'm a going fishing.'' Any convert or member can say it too. ''Well, that was a great baptism.'' or ''That's great that I got married in the temple.'' But if we truly love our Savior, we CANNOT go back to the life we had before. We must always remain true as disciples of Jesus Christ so that our investigators, our family, our husband or wife will always be able to look us in the eye and we will not be ashamed of who we have become. We have been called and chosen and have to live up the the name we all have taken upon us. There is no going back, only going on. The Lord has much to ask of us yet. Are we ready to feed his sheep, ourselves included?
With love,
Sorella Jacobson
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